


I Am

by Your_Iron_Lung



Category: Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name
Genre: Gen, Movie Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 22:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Your_Iron_Lung/pseuds/Your_Iron_Lung
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'It is not hard to see how similar we are, the Iron Giant and I- our respective memory loss issues aside. Our understanding of things and the how's and why's that make up how the world works are both molded and influenced by our younger counterparts. They teach us things, whether we are aware of it or not. Life lessons that may or not have been learned in a life before we met them, but were forgotten when we found them. </p>
<p>But there is another similarity between the strange metal contraption and I that provides a sense of somber realization; we are both feared.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a really long time ago, when Hinabn was still active and I was still very much into the series. I was rooting through my old fics and found this one and decided to touch it up a bit and post it here.

"Aw man, Amadeus, torrents are the greatest thing ever since, like, the internet was invented, or something."

Torrents? I scan my mind briefly, wondering if a torrent is something I am aware of or something I have forgotten. When I can come up with no definition of the word, I look to Hanna for clarification.

"Torrents?"

"Oh, yea. Guess you dunno much about the internet. Hehe." He smiles apologetically before he shifts around on his mattress, making room for me to presumably join him on the bed as he pats the space next to him. His smile broadens when I take the spot, and he then points to the screen of his laptop perched atop the nearby chair. I look, but I am unsure of what I'm seeing. I'm not terribly savvy in the ways of computers, or of technology in general, and can only guess as to what all the numbers mean. "Yea, torrents. They uh, let you download things like movies and music in a maybe notsolegal way for free."

"I see."

Yes, I can understand why Hanna would be so fond of these so-called 'torrents'; we're not particularly rolling in the dough (so to speak,) and from what I've gathered about the subject, DVD's and the like are a bit on the expensive side. I'm sure though, if Hanna had the money to spare, he'd go out and actually buy the material instead of settling for this second-hand method. 

"Yup. The connection here sucks, though; these are taking forever. I want The Watchmen nowwwwwwuhhhhhh," he whines pitifully.

I am unable to determine just how it is that he is able to tell how long each torrent takes to download, and merely agree with companionable silence. Hanna presses a few keys and clicks around for a bit before he soon grew bored. He frowns at the screen before another large smile creeps across his face.

"Hey, hey! Wanna watch a movie while we wait for this one?"

He doesn't wait for a response (though it would've been an affirmative), and opens up a few files. The screen is then filled with the opening credits to a movie, and Hanna looks on excitedly as he leans back, using the wall behind us as a rest.

"I really love this movie, man. I haven't seen it in so long, but it's so great, like. MAN OH MAN. I can't even explain. It's just that good."

He smiles giddily beside me and begins bouncing up and down gently on the mattress as I shake my head, bemused.

"Let's just watch it, then. I'm sure I'll catch on."

He agrees and utters another few quickly spoken words that I have no hope of understanding, and then he's silent as the movie starts. It takes a little while, but soon I'm beginning to see some similarities. The main character, a young child by the name of Hogarth (I pray that Hanna never, ever, chooses to call me that), reminds me so strongly of Hanna, it's as if I'm being given a glimpse as to what he could've been like as a child. 

Energetic, curious, and an incredibly strong, active imagination make up most of what I picture Hanna to have been like. It makes both the protagonist, Hogarth, and Hanna more relaxed and open to accepting the oddity of such strange happenings the two separately encounter. For Hogarth, it is the Iron Giant. For Hanna, it is me.

It is not hard to see how similar we are, the Iron Giant and I- our respective memory loss issues aside. Our understanding of things and the how's and why's that make up how the world works are both molded and influenced by our younger counterparts. They teach us things, whether we are aware of it or not. Life lessons that may or not have been learned in a life before we met them, but were forgotten when we found them. 

But there is another similarity between the strange metal contraption and I that provides a sense of somber realization; we are both feared.

In different ways, surely, but fear is still fear no matter the form. I get odd, curious, confused looks wherever I go, and while those are easy to ignore and cast aside, it is much harder not to notice when people deliberately cross a street in order to avoid you. I don't mind it too terribly much, but Hanna always jumps on the defensive whenever something like this happens, speaking loudly about how rude some people are while glaring at the offender across the way.

I love Hanna like I'd surely love a younger brother when he does these things. It speaks volumes for his character in the fact that he's not afraid to stand up for his friends, even if he looks like he'd barely be able to stand up for himself should a conflict arise.

While the fear of the Iron Giant is certainly more justifiable (a giant, metal robot from space with no definable origins during the time of the redscare is certainly upsetting), it has still done nothing wrong to warrant that type of fear.

" _They're just not ready for you yet,_ " Hogarth says, and the robot sadly agrees.

Society might never be ready for that kind of think-for-itself technology. People fear what they cannot control, after all. Most people generally categorize robots as killing machines, and the fact that this one could think and act on it's own was severely upsetting to them. 

So imagine, then, how they must feel to see a zombie who can think and act logically on it's own when most have been projected to be feral, brain-hungry monsters. They must be terrified. They must be confused. I doubt their ability to comprehend that I am anything but some mindless terror, but with Hanna, there has never been any doubt. 

He took me in without fear, knowing immediately that I would not use him to sate whatever unearthly hunger zombies have been portrayed to have, just as Hogarth had seen through the initial terror of a metal-munching mechanical being and had taken him in in much the same way. 

…but perhaps I'm looking too far into this. After all, it is only a childrens movie. Surely there wouldn't be so much thought put into something directed towards younger audience.

Initially, when the movie had started, Hanna had been laughing and giggling at all the appropriate places, but now he is quiet and somber, staring intently at the screen in what appears to be deep thought. Perhaps he's noticed the same things about the movie that I have.

"You know, Gallahad, you're a lot like the Iron Giant." Ah, it seems he has. He pauses the movie and stares into his folded hands thoughtfully. "You're strong and really kind and soft-spoken-ish and, heh, you both have memory problems."

He smiles a bit, and I almost feel inclined to do the same, but he continues on.

"But uh, I'm sure you've noticed how some people look like they're afraid of you when we're out together."

"I don't mind."

"Yea, I know; you're always saying that. But," he gives me an odd smile and tilts his head before he makes eye-contact, staring and holding my gaze firmly. "I just want to let you know that you're not a monster. Despite what other people think, ok? You're my best friend, and everyone else can go suck a fuck if they can't see that. I love you, man."

He smiles, frowns, then smiles again, adding this as an afterthought:

"In a strictly platonic bromantic way, you understand."

I smile.

"Of course."

It isn't something I worry about nightly, or something that's been plaguing my thoughts till recently, but even so Hanna's words are nice to hear. 

_'You are what you choose to be.'_

I am me, and Hanna is Hanna. I have no worries about one day turning into a blood-thirsty version of my undead self, and I know Hanna doesn't have any either. We know each other and how we work, regardless of how the rest of the world might see us. They can live in fear of me if they so choose, but we will not let it affect us and our way of living.

Hanna is smiling again and looks back at the screen, nodding slowly to himself in silent thought as the paused giant's bright, glowing eyes stare back at him. I'm waiting patiently for him to press play so we may finish the movie, but even after several minutes he doesn't move, and it appears that he has no intention of doing so.

"Hanna? Are we going to finish the movie?" I gently pry, peering down at him.

Hanna snaps out of whatever train of thought he's lost himself in and blinks at me curiously.

"Oh, no." Hanna shakes his head and looks back at the screen with a sad smile. "If I watch the end now I'll cry."

I give him a questioning look but he ignores it and I decide not to press the issue. I admit, I'd like to see how the rest of the movie plays out, but if Hanna says it'll make him cry, well. I'd prefer not to see him shed any tears if it can be helped. 

"Hey." It's my turn to blink as I turn to Hanna, and I see he's grinning again. "Look, both you guys' eyes glow. Haha, why are you guys so similar? Craaaaazyyyyyy."

I let out a slight laugh while Hanna exits out of the movie and goes back to checking on his torrents, groaning loudly when he discovers they have another hour to go before they finish.

"Man, I wonder if I complain about the connection to Blaney if she'll foot the bill for a new router."

"I doubt that."

"Awrgh, why does the world hate me so!"

The Iron Giant and I are the same in many ways, and I can only hope that whatever happens to him and Hogarth at the end of the movie that could make Hanna cry does not befall us. I resolve to protect Hanna as best I can and to keep him safe, especially from annoying, paranoid CIA Agents who may come prying for whatever reason.


End file.
